|THE GHETTO VS THE BURB SKHOTANE|
4 June 2012 Impeccable Pen 7 comments
I think skhotanes can give themselves a huge round of applause for being one of the most talked about group of people so far this year. The guys are seriously famous, and even though their lifestyle has been questioned by many, it’s undeniable that they have left a mark on the local social world.
I think the term skhotane should be used for all folk in our society that love conspicuous spending and that love the attention that they get from flashing the materialistic goods that they take by force from life. Whether one can or cannot afford the materialistic goods in question shouldn’t necessarily be the issue, but rather the lifestyle that is associated with skhotane, because in essence, skhotanes like to look good and flash expensive items while being seen at the seemingly best party places.
I’m really convinced of the fact that there are two types of skhotanes in society, and those are ghetto skhotanes and suburban skhotanes. The only thing that separates these two groups of skhotanes is the type of material things that they flash and the location at which these items are flashed. But none the less, the expensive, flashy lifestyle is all the same, but which skhotane group is more appealing to you is merely a personal flashy lifestyle preference. Here’s how you differentiate between a ghetto skhotane and a burb skhotane.
Ghetto skhotanes are popularly known for rocking Italian labels, but what’s most synonymous with them is Carvella moccasins and Sfarzo multi-patterned or plain jeans. It’s ghetto-fabulousness at its best, whereas burb skhotanes will flash all-out the latest Louis Vuitton hand bags, Versace’s and if push comes to shove, Louboutins are in order. Burb skhotanes take it a step further by flashing the latest in diamond and gold bling, blinding any eye that dares to look in the bling’s directions.
All skhotanes party hard and party well, but location is always the key issue. The ghetto skhotanes will always bring the house down at a popular park where a dj throws the hottest bangers via the Virtual DJ software. The only thing that stands in the way of a good get-down is the rain. Remember that there are Carvella moccasins to maintain (and probably tear to pieces sometime during the festivities). Burb skhotanes are usually found partying at the hottest clubs in town (aka the burbs), wearing their flashy jewellery and expensive clothes, and most importantly, the signature freakem dress. Burb skhotanes will rarely be seen partying outdoors, lest the rain pours on their expensive Indian hair weaves and turns them into Indian afro-tangled messes.
How you get to the party is equally as important, if not more important, than the actual party itself. So for the ghetto skhotane, the pimped Caravelle mini buses (affectionately known as iCarabus) are the order of the day. The Carabus has to be bumping the hottest house music or Durban kwaito tunes, and guys have to hang out of the windows and the doors while whistling at the top of the lungs, occasionally coming out to dance on the street in a bid to show the rest of the onlookers what they’re made of. Burb skhotanes on the other hand, rock up in rides like Mini Coopers and pimped out Golf GTI’s (usually the younger rock stars roll in these) and for the more sophisticated burb skhotanes, rides like Mercs and Lamborghini’s are the order of the day. It’s all about arriving in the flashiest way possible so that one can look cool, untouchable and expensive.
Both skhotane groups drink expensive alcohol; whether they spill it on the floor, on each other bodies or down their throats is specific to each skhotane group. But how they ‘make it rain’ is different for each group. Burb skhotanes will always make it rain with any expensive or reasonably affordable alcoholic drink, but usually they make it rain with champagne. They’ll even go as far as spraying it on any woman’s breasts that’s crazy enough to unleash her milkshakes to the world. Ghetto skhotanes make it rain with Ultra Mel custard. I mean, who needs to spray alcoholic starters when you can get right down to dessert? It’s sweet, tasty and has no age restrictions.
And there you have it; just a few differentiations between the ghetto and the burb skhotane. So next time you want to flash your material goods at any given social setting, make sure that you ask yourself this one simple question: am I a ghetto skhotane or a burb skhotane? That will determine whether you rock Carvellas or Louboutins, or whether you make it rain with champagne or Ultra Mel custard.
*pic sourced from siyaunleashed.tumblr.com
Follow the daily clues to find the hidden entry form and stand a chance to win R15,000 in cash!
‘I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom comes responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.’
-Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela