|Typecast: A Guide to Hunting Joburg Honeys…|
July 5, 2011 Athi 4 comments
It’s a jungle out here and by “here” I mean the Johannesburg party scene. Multitudes of pimply faced teenagers descend onto the city in their numbers every single year, fresh fodder for the desperate and dateless 20-something year olds hoping to ensnare the next “it girl/boy” and claim a hand in their rise to social notoriety. As if Twitter wasn’t already a crazy popularity contest reminiscent of those torturous high school days most of us would rather forget, you also have to contend with actually being liked in the real world. On top of that, you still have to sift out a potential partner amidst all the superficial madness! Like, how is that supposed to work itself out? Luckily, I’m here to make it easy for anyone trying to find a wifey out here. If you’re going to come out a winner, here’s what you need to know….
Warning: Do not read this if you believe in “giving everyone a chance” and other such hippy nonsense. We all know its wrong to stereotype and put people in boxes, but some people don’t have the time or patience to sift through every Jezebel in town, looking for redeeming wifely qualities. This is for them!
Abo wewe aka The Durban girls
This species is most commonly found at house gigs, which is their preferred habitat, doing the “vuma” which is their preferred dance move! They usually have an ageing benefactor in the background, but a real achievement in their eyes is snagging a DJ. They are usually armed with a full itinerary of their chosen prey’s weekend engagements, using tracking tools such as Twitter and Facebook. These are the some very well groomed young ladies; you will never find them with their hair, nails and faces not done. After all, they are always on their way to a party aka “music video shoot”.
The Good Girls
So there, I know that was helpful! Next time you’re out painting the town red, before you say “she can get it”, look for these simple characteristics and at least you know what you’re working with!